Good Counseling

  This is one subject that I honestly never thought I would write on from my own personal experience. However, the sound advice and wise council from my therapist, Jessica, has been invaluable! She is simply terrific at what she does! She is very approachable and kind in her methods. Honesty and an ability to encourage me to become the `true` version of myself are two traits that I am met with at each session. She's an attractive and sweet~tempered woman as well. Which is a good thing if one is a physiologist!

  For over thirty years I have battle with anger issues! They have been more akin to rage, at times! Simple anger doesn't seem to apply in my case. I have never been certain of why this is the case. You could easily envision Dr. Bruce Banner becoming the Hulk when witnessing some of my more expressive flashes of the anger. We are currently dealing with that and self~image issues each week. It appears that we have made some major headway in both areas! I am happy when it's time for another session with her, mostly because I want this to be redacted, removed from my personality. Anger is not the real persona I have!

  With that being said I have "homework" to do from here on out and journaling will play a big part in my treatment and diagnosis. It's been a long road getting from the guy filled with anger and a poor self~image to a kinder, gentler sort of man who wants to encourage those around me. That's what God wants each of us to do and I plan on taking it slow and moment by moment. It's actually fun being able to talk to a person of wisdom and have parts of my physique revealed. Some of it is also surprising in a very interesting way.

  So with that comes New challenges and I like being challenged in just about anything! The fruit of this new tree will be good and those whom I love and care for will be pleasantly surprised by it and happy for me, I am quite sure! I must give the LORD God all the credit and gratitude.


Jeff pendleton
10/21/16

Remembering The Fanzine Trekbeat

 I came across an issue (printed) of an older fan magazine in the Star Trek genre called, "Trekbeat", for which I was a contributing columnist. The issue is dated, 
Feburary of 1992 and is full of insightful and fun articles, news and photos, which
was the norm for fanzines of the era. I absolutely loved my time spent writing for Trekbeat and for the genuine people who ran the club!

  The article I wrote about was the last major film with the original cast from the
first Trek tv series. I had titled it..."Is this really the end?" and concentrated on the
film which was titled, "The Undiscovered Country". Captain Kirk and Dr.McCoy run
into some major problems with the Klingons and are accused of murder. Those of
you who haven't seen the film, rent it today and watch one of the better story~lines
in any Trek movie, in my humble opinion! For us who saw the film at it's release, 
it was an enjoyable "who dunnit" type of mystery in space.Of course, in the movie
that followed it, 1994`s Generations, saw William Shatner play a major role along
side Patrick Stewart to stop the twisted efforts of Dr.Soron from 're~creating
the Nexus, a dimensional paradise where one could live in bliss over and over
again. Sadly the end comes for Kirk after defeating Soron and Picard has the woeful
duty of burying a legend!

What I miss about this fanzine was the comrodere and the wonderful people who
worked tirelessly day and night to bring the fans a unique and informative club~
magazine in which they could participate themselves. There were contests, cartoons, 
subspace~messages, fans opinion page and lots of great artwork! It was a joy to
take part in. By the way, I forgot to give you the name of the fanzine, sorry, mental
lapse there. It was called, "Engage" and was headed up by a really cool lady by the
name of, Kimberly Pederson, who I can honestly say was a big help to me during
our short time together. Unfortunately, the magazine and fan~club lasted only a
few months through 1992 due to Kim and her husband both being in the military
and moved around quite a bit!

A good question to ask today is...would there ever be a desire among Trek fans to
see a printed version, apart from the official Stat Trek Magazine, that would involve
the fans in a big way? They could contribute in much the same way as we did back
in the day and it very likely would bring fans of the iconic series even closer to one
another. Personally, I would really enjoy having a weekly or monthly column to
contribute on such a project! I am certain that there would be ample participation
from fans across the globe and it could bring about newer ideas and even more
technology to the current facet of this empire!

With the latest Trek series set for the spring of 2017, one could speculate that for
New and old trekkers/trekkies alike the future is looking even more exciting and
with that excitement could come more and more creative story~lines for both
tv and major film projects together. From this writer's point of view, I would say
there are infinite possibilities, wouldn't you? Seems like I heard that from some
place before.

Live long and prosper folks


Jeff pendleton
10/16/16

True Strength pt.2

  The thought of strength can be many things to many people. For some it can come from having a great intellectual mind. These folks tend to look at every angle of a situation, tangle it around a bit and come to a sensible conclusion. They are `thinkers`! Others derive their strength from an inner attitude of not giving up on anything, ever! They make a strong statement for this when they become challenged in such a way that they must prove to the world that they do not quit on anything which includes relationships. A sense of pride accompanies their determined attitude!

Some people believe they are strongest when in a tough situation or atmosphere where they are unfamiliar their resolve to stay calm and poised is the moment where they are strongest! Being calm during an intense argument is an example of inner~strength which flows from the human spirit. It's all about an attitude and a decision! Women seem to do better at this than most men! Sorry guys, it's the truth!
Ask any woman who has given birth when their greatest moment of strength is and I am quite sure many of them would say during the delivery of their children.

Each of us have different kinds of strengths in several areas of our lives! We may not have even realized some of the areas just yet but a time will come when we will be tested in a particular area of challenge and the fruit we bare will be evident. It's part of the human~makeup! We are much stronger internally than any of us really know! The way God created the spirit in humanity is not so much a mystery as it is, to use a
metaphor, a readied and waiting soldier poised for the battle when called upon! A wise man is a truly strong man!

Whether it's physical, mental, emotional or spiritual, all of us can stand firm on the gift of strength we have been given. Each day may call for a certain type of strength from us in unexpected ways but no matter the kind of strength we possess we can become far stronger when we go through life's toughest times and challenges together!


Jeff pendleton
10/12/16

True Strength

  I have often thought of myself as a pretty strong guy, physically speaking, and have not shied away from opportunities to showcase that strength to family and friends. Rather proudly at times, I must shamefully admit. I am of the belief that God grants to us certain strength`s in areas where we lack that strength in other areas. An example would be a blind man, woman or child who, despite their loss in sight, have been giving the capacity to hear better than most or experience greater perception mentally than another person. Really, it's quite remarkable when you think about it!

With that being said, I have to say that physical strength does not make the man! You may be an outstanding body~builder with the look of Hulk Hogan or Lou Ferrigno but be without a friendly attitude and many people would shy away from you! Maybe your strength is in your knowledge of multiple subjects and languages but you don't possess a giving heart, then you are probably lacking in friends. Whatever area we are gifted in with strength we can not truly call ourselves a `real` man apart from the determination to persevere through hardship and difficulties! 

Recently I have learned this valuable lesson through one of the most difficult lessons of my entire life! A seperation from my wife has happened over this past summer mainly because of situations that I put our family through due to a lack of control and giving the impression, through a physical illness, that I have `given myself over` to that illness. That's a tough admission but it is simply the truth! Perhaps my wife had finally hit her breaking point recently and saw no other solution but to distance herself and our children from me. I was initially very upset that she made that choice and fought against it. That only drew her further away from me. Anger issues and anxiety attacks led to me depending on my wife to a greater degree! She had had enough after 16 years of going through that. I can't blame her.

With the seperation I have sought out counseling, on my wife's insistence, and I admit that the sessions have helped me a great deal. I still struggle each day with severe vertigo, which is the illness I mentioned, and periods of anxiety and deep depression. These conditions have been the result of a car accident many years ago where my head went through the car windshield and I did not go to the hospital afterwords to be checked out. Really stupid and stubborn! Since that incident at the age of 19 I have gradually worsened over the years. Being dizzy everyday is not a fun day at the park, believe me!

With that being said, I now believe that I am not able to call myself a true man in the sight of my family! Another very tough admission here! I have to be honest and just express what happens to be the way I see myself at this point. It's a discouraging and hard thing to deal with, especially for one who is p passionate about many things and yet depends so much on the weaker~vessel, my wife. She is not equipped to carry the load of her family on her own shoulders and I realize that, in several areas, that's exactly what has taken place over the years. She already has 4 children and doesn't need or want a fifth!, She has looked for real strength from me. The strength to go through tough times and put the family squarely on my shoulders where they are meant to be! God ordained the family in this fashion.

So what do I do to keep my family, transform my thinking and endure the hardships that we all go through? Endurance is the answer! When a man endures tough times and keeps his family's heads above water, he becomes their hero! That's what my wife has looked for in me but rarely seen. I realize that there have been moments where I was able to display that enduring strength but, sadly, not very often. It is my sincere belief, after learning much from my older sister, that all women want a man who shows the strength necessary to provide, protect and encourage them and their children. That's the main focus for women who really care about a guy's character rather than how he makes her feel in the bedroom, or any other room, for that matter!

The task ahead is formidable but I happen to like challenges and, from past experience, I seem to excellence in most challenges, with God's helping hand of course, and this particular challenge is no different. It's just greater in scope and magnitude! The time to "step up" and become the leader and `real` man that I was created to be is right now. Today!

By the grace of Almighty God it is a done deal!


Jeff Pendleton
10/8/16

The Enigma Of Ketucky Football

What is the mystery of the University of Kentucky football team? For decades now, as far back as I can recall, the question of what is it about UK`s football program that has held it down and kept major success from its grasp like most of the teams in the SEC? The last successful team I can personally remember was coached by Rich Brooks in the early 2000`s when they had back~to~ back bowl wins and a decent pair of 8 win seasons!

Since that time there has been very little for the fan~base to get excited over. It's very puzzling to me why this has been the case for the UK program for so long. There appears to be no answer to that question and no one seems to be able to pinpoint the problems! Not since the early 1980`s has this program seen several winning seasons in a row. Jerry Claiborne was the coach at that time with a history of turning weak programs around and bringing some semblance of success to each program he took over.

The excitement was evident then but it has been sorely lacking since! What is the formula that will enable this football program with some of the best amenities around the league be lifted from the gutter of the SEC to the top, just as the basketball program has remained for decades? Is it a top secret that only the CIA knows about and other's will have to be content in their ignorance? Such a frustrating problem for both the University and the fans! The answer can not be out of our reach. Most likely it is a puzzle which has a simple answer but other's "muddy the water" with silly decisions in the hiring process! I have respect for Mr.Barnhart as the A.D. here and he has certainly provided the basketball program it's needed `shot in the arm` with coach Calipari for the last 8 season's but the same intensity and knowledge has been sorely lacking for the football team!

Logically there seems to be no significant reason that major success has eluded this football program for many years. Some rather jokingly blame it on a supposed curse against the football team from then~basketball guru and coaching legend, Adolf Rupp, because of Bear Bryant making strong headway for the UK football Wildcats in the late 1950`s! That is mere speculation of course but anyone with serious desires for the football team to enjoy equal success as the basketball side will consider even this comical answer.

There is some very good news for many former UK players who have been drafted into the NFL, however. The numbers of former football stars from UK have gained long~career success for them and their teams in many league cities! Part of the enigma which has plagued this team for so long is the fact that, as it seems, many of their student~athletes have enjoyed fine success in the pro league's which is by far we'll above what they each earned while playing here. It is very peculiar, indeed!

Perhaps one day, soon, a very knowledgeable football coach who sleeps, eats and drinks the game of football, will be brought in and he will add several copies of himself as coaches on both sides of the ball to bring unquestioned and undeniable success and winning seasons to this sadly depleted football program at UK. That would satisfy even the most consistent skeptic and relate the fan~base, which only this year, has declined! It's time for the blue and white of UK football to rise to the top and become part of the elite programs of the SEC! It's high time to be talked about in the same breath as Alambama, Florida, Georgia and Ole Miss! No more guessing~games and no more inept coaches! 

Right now the fans deserve this success and the players do as well! UK stands for excellence in sports so let's bring the football program right alongside the basketball, baseball and cheerleading teams and revoke the `loser image` of football here and by strong commitment and over~the~top enthusiasm lift it to the highest peaks of friction success for decades to come!


Jeff Pendleton
9/19/16

Thoughts About Relationships

 

   I sometimes believe it would be easier to navigate through rough seas during a threatening storm than to keep a close relationship in tact. It can be really tough to figure out what makes the other person feel needed and appreciated and at the same time express your own feelings to them in a manner that is not so one~sided. We are all selfish at times and we know exactly how to manipulate the other person in the relationship to get what we want for ourselves! Whether that's trying to get them to think as we do on s particular subject or to get a prized goody from the store. It really doesn't matter much at all if it is a thing or a way of responding, as long as it's my way! That's a cold, hard statement but it is so true!

   Any relationship, whether in marriage, friendship or business, takes lots of sincere effort from both sides in order to be consider a good relationship! That's exactly how it should be and can be if those involved will consider first what their partner needs from them. It's not always clear but that's alright, as long as both are allowed to respectively discuss their particular needs in a manner that's understood! Communication is everything, as they say!  It's so true!

   A selfish motive will only gain us an unfulfilled moment of satisfaction no matter what it is we are after! Always considering only what we want out of any relationship will end in bitter disappointment and emptiness. A selfish person is usually a lonely one! It's much more fun to give our best to the relationship than to horde up everything about for ourselves. We can make it a fun time together or a miserable one. The choice is always ours to make! Speaking from experience from both sides of the tracks, I have witnessed a good relationship go bad because of selfishness and bad communications. I have also seen a rather rough beginning to a relationship turn into a successful one simply by one or both of those involved putting their own selves aside and making the other the most important part of their relationship. 

   It's always a win, win situation when a gracious spirit overcomes a selfish one no matter what the conditions are! It's a rare treat to see this happen in families, business or friendship. A very cool thing, indeed! I have to believe that God is honored when our motives are guided by an unselfish attitude and an insight into the needs of those around us. We become much more like Christ when this occurs! We also benefit greatly at the same time. Isn't that just too cool of the LORD?!

   I have to say that I realize that I have much work to do in each of my own relationships, both, in family and friendship, in order for both sides to come out on top and be successful. It's my honest prayer that I will daily yield my self to God's holy Spirit to help me make that happen, starting with my marriage first. In every relationship there must be a selected time of healing and refreshing, I believe! With that in mind, it is my sincere hope that you, my readers, will take the effort to put the other person in (all) your relationships first and let them feel like they are the most important part of your life, and they really are!

   Let's all agree together that no matter the conditions, we will deny ourselves more and out the other person first and foremost in our relationships. After all, God gave them to us as a gift. Let's treat them that way.

Jeff Pendleton

9/11/16

Difficulty

     I haven't been active on here for a little while because of some personal family~business the past few weeks. Apart from any, lengthy details, I will 
say that it has been very hard to concentrate on writing during this time! I
wouldn't wish it upon anybody, including enemies, whoever they might be! 
Concentration on most areas of my life have been quite limited and, at best,
problematic. It has left deep wounds and some very discouraging thoughts
without a doubt!
     We would be thankful for your prayers and comforting thoughts at this
critical time for our family. I love writing and expect it to be the income~
stream to provide for my family going forward! I haven't had work at a job
since the end of April of this year and its been very tough on my wife and kids!
Despite this fact. The LORD has been faithful and gracious in supplying for us
all our needs. He is awesome!
     Because of my disability (the severe dizziness) I have applied for social
security disability and have been denied twice but our next st e p is to retain
a representative to help us out, which I understand most people have to end
up getting in order to be successful in the attempt to get it. My wife did and she
has been on disability~benefits for over 8 years for a bad hip. She is a real
trooper, though, and keeps going strong in spite of the daily pain she goes
through!
     It is my hope to get another article done for the blog within the next several
days but there are no time~pressures so it will work out, I'm sure! I just want
To be grateful to God and put him first. 
     Thank you to each and every one of you who read this and take the time
To pray for us. Blessings to you guys!


Jeff Pendleton
9/3/16