I sometimes believe it would be easier to navigate through rough seas during a threatening storm than to keep a close relationship in tact. It can be really tough to figure out what makes the other person feel needed and appreciated and at the same time express your own feelings to them in a manner that is not so one~sided. We are all selfish at times and we know exactly how to manipulate the other person in the relationship to get what we want for ourselves! Whether that's trying to get them to think as we do on s particular subject or to get a prized goody from the store. It really doesn't matter much at all if it is a thing or a way of responding, as long as it's my way! That's a cold, hard statement but it is so true!
Any relationship, whether in marriage, friendship or business, takes lots of sincere effort from both sides in order to be consider a good relationship! That's exactly how it should be and can be if those involved will consider first what their partner needs from them. It's not always clear but that's alright, as long as both are allowed to respectively discuss their particular needs in a manner that's understood! Communication is everything, as they say! It's so true!
A selfish motive will only gain us an unfulfilled moment of satisfaction no matter what it is we are after! Always considering only what we want out of any relationship will end in bitter disappointment and emptiness. A selfish person is usually a lonely one! It's much more fun to give our best to the relationship than to horde up everything about for ourselves. We can make it a fun time together or a miserable one. The choice is always ours to make! Speaking from experience from both sides of the tracks, I have witnessed a good relationship go bad because of selfishness and bad communications. I have also seen a rather rough beginning to a relationship turn into a successful one simply by one or both of those involved putting their own selves aside and making the other the most important part of their relationship.
It's always a win, win situation when a gracious spirit overcomes a selfish one no matter what the conditions are! It's a rare treat to see this happen in families, business or friendship. A very cool thing, indeed! I have to believe that God is honored when our motives are guided by an unselfish attitude and an insight into the needs of those around us. We become much more like Christ when this occurs! We also benefit greatly at the same time. Isn't that just too cool of the LORD?!
I have to say that I realize that I have much work to do in each of my own relationships, both, in family and friendship, in order for both sides to come out on top and be successful. It's my honest prayer that I will daily yield my self to God's holy Spirit to help me make that happen, starting with my marriage first. In every relationship there must be a selected time of healing and refreshing, I believe! With that in mind, it is my sincere hope that you, my readers, will take the effort to put the other person in (all) your relationships first and let them feel like they are the most important part of your life, and they really are!
Let's all agree together that no matter the conditions, we will deny ourselves more and out the other person first and foremost in our relationships. After all, God gave them to us as a gift. Let's treat them that way.
Jeff Pendleton
9/11/16
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